EVEN YOUR BOO GET A BOO
EPISODE 5
.
.
.
I hate parties. Maybe because I can’t dance.
Or maybe because I hate the whole social
kiniko kiniko that go with it. But the way
Clara asked me to come for that party
mehn…it wasn’t a small thing. I just had to
say yes then after I said yes I regretted I
hadn’t said no.
But I haf say the yes already na. It would be
fack up to come and start changing mouth
again. So that’s how I agreed to go party o.
That day, as in the party day; I cleaned up
then pinged Clara and asked her to send me
directions then she did and then come and
say one mumu thing about the party being
an all white thing. Are you kidding me. Is it
NYSC.
When It got time to ball out, I looked at my
wardrobe . There was only one white in
there (I hate white. Minus joke) and the one
in the wardrobe was a trad plus it was dirty.
I can’t wear dirty white trad na to this kind
of party na
What kind of mumu all white party sef. I
went and took my bath, dressed up with
what was in the wardrobe and just balled
out.
I followed the direction to the place the
party was supposed to hold. Actually the
place na Liberty estate. If you live in Enugu
then you will know the place for real mehn.
So piam piam. I followed direction and got
to the house. Mehn, that house wasn’t here
o. Fine fine anyhow like this eh.
I knocked on the gate and waited. That was
when I first chop my first Sh*t. Well, not like
Sh*t for real. As in, what happened was I
knocked and gateman looked at me like I
messed beans mess. The malam face no
nice at all.
“Who you dey fine?” he almost barked.
How will I answer now.
“I come for the party”. I finally managed to
say after my head been blank.
“Comot here. Oga pikin say na white”. Vam
and he banged gate on my face.
I smile. Like all those smile you smile when
you feel somebody have just insulted you but
you don’t know what to do. So you just laugh
yourself and say “chai, I don suffer for
people hand”. That kain smile.
I picked my phone and called Clara.
“Gateman doesn’t want me to enter o”.
Dude, my mind voice said when I said that,
you just sounded like small pikin now she
you know?. Eh wahever, I agreed, live it like
that.
“Why na?” Clara asked.
“He said I’m not putting on you people’s
uniform”.
She laughed. Then said something about me
always liking to break rules and told me to
wait.
Ten minutes later and she showed. D--n,
that girl is fine. No worry.
She wore white but white haven’t looked so
sinful as it did on that babe, I thought a lot
of things when I saw her that I no go like
talk about here – Bumshort. Horribly short
bumshort like this eh…Choi. Then she come
wear this top that just showed her booby
like Ish the booby’s birthday. Forget my guy,
let’s not go there.
She said something to the Gateman and the
fool come gree to allow me enter. I got in
and gave him my best evil eye and passed.
Clara then lead me up a walkway to the
front door and Opened it. we got in. That
was when I started wishing say I get sense
just go fin white borrow. Everybody just wear
white, na me just off. And no chair dey the
place. Seems they removed it. Everyone was
standing. Cocktail kinda Sh*t.
A fine very tall guy walked up to us. I’m not
fine, I know. But that guy’s fresh fine-ness
just made me look twice as ugly as I dey
mehn. No shiii. I looked and recognized him
from Clara’s dp. That guy I been see for her
dp na. Shey you remember? Ehm.
“DANIEL”. Clara said. “Meet my boyfriend.
Jay, Meet DANIEL”
That was when I wished I hadn’t come. And
in one simple sentence she just turned my
belle. But there was more…
To Be Continued…
EPISODE 5
.
.
.
I hate parties. Maybe because I can’t dance.
Or maybe because I hate the whole social
kiniko kiniko that go with it. But the way
Clara asked me to come for that party
mehn…it wasn’t a small thing. I just had to
say yes then after I said yes I regretted I
hadn’t said no.
But I haf say the yes already na. It would be
fack up to come and start changing mouth
again. So that’s how I agreed to go party o.
That day, as in the party day; I cleaned up
then pinged Clara and asked her to send me
directions then she did and then come and
say one mumu thing about the party being
an all white thing. Are you kidding me. Is it
NYSC.
When It got time to ball out, I looked at my
wardrobe . There was only one white in
there (I hate white. Minus joke) and the one
in the wardrobe was a trad plus it was dirty.
I can’t wear dirty white trad na to this kind
of party na
What kind of mumu all white party sef. I
went and took my bath, dressed up with
what was in the wardrobe and just balled
out.
I followed the direction to the place the
party was supposed to hold. Actually the
place na Liberty estate. If you live in Enugu
then you will know the place for real mehn.
So piam piam. I followed direction and got
to the house. Mehn, that house wasn’t here
o. Fine fine anyhow like this eh.
I knocked on the gate and waited. That was
when I first chop my first Sh*t. Well, not like
Sh*t for real. As in, what happened was I
knocked and gateman looked at me like I
messed beans mess. The malam face no
nice at all.
“Who you dey fine?” he almost barked.
How will I answer now.
“I come for the party”. I finally managed to
say after my head been blank.
“Comot here. Oga pikin say na white”. Vam
and he banged gate on my face.
I smile. Like all those smile you smile when
you feel somebody have just insulted you but
you don’t know what to do. So you just laugh
yourself and say “chai, I don suffer for
people hand”. That kain smile.
I picked my phone and called Clara.
“Gateman doesn’t want me to enter o”.
Dude, my mind voice said when I said that,
you just sounded like small pikin now she
you know?. Eh wahever, I agreed, live it like
that.
“Why na?” Clara asked.
“He said I’m not putting on you people’s
uniform”.
She laughed. Then said something about me
always liking to break rules and told me to
wait.
Ten minutes later and she showed. D--n,
that girl is fine. No worry.
She wore white but white haven’t looked so
sinful as it did on that babe, I thought a lot
of things when I saw her that I no go like
talk about here – Bumshort. Horribly short
bumshort like this eh…Choi. Then she come
wear this top that just showed her booby
like Ish the booby’s birthday. Forget my guy,
let’s not go there.
She said something to the Gateman and the
fool come gree to allow me enter. I got in
and gave him my best evil eye and passed.
Clara then lead me up a walkway to the
front door and Opened it. we got in. That
was when I started wishing say I get sense
just go fin white borrow. Everybody just wear
white, na me just off. And no chair dey the
place. Seems they removed it. Everyone was
standing. Cocktail kinda Sh*t.
A fine very tall guy walked up to us. I’m not
fine, I know. But that guy’s fresh fine-ness
just made me look twice as ugly as I dey
mehn. No shiii. I looked and recognized him
from Clara’s dp. That guy I been see for her
dp na. Shey you remember? Ehm.
“DANIEL”. Clara said. “Meet my boyfriend.
Jay, Meet DANIEL”
That was when I wished I hadn’t come. And
in one simple sentence she just turned my
belle. But there was more…
To Be Continued…
EVEN YOUR BOO GET A BOO
EPISODE 6
.
.
.
This world is sha a very wicked place.
Here I was in an all white party putting on
some crazy Buttocks off colour nonsense
while the babe I had like a massive crush on
was introducing me to her nonsense
boyfriend.
What a wicked world. I pitied myself. But
Nawa for you o, I just smiled and do face like
it’s perfectly normal for a girl who had made
a pass on me some weeks ago to have a
boyfriend.
I shoke hands with the nonsense Jay of a
guy. But sha, the boy just fresh anyhow. All
this ajebo children. He just brought out the
kpako in me. Minus joke.
“Welcome to my party”. Jay said, looking me
up and down. “Even though you are a bit off”
Arrogant bascard, I thought, na even the fool
party sef. No shaking.
“I don’t like blending in”. I told him. Smiling
my you can go and die smile as I motioned
over what I was wearing.
The boy smiled, grabbed Clara by the waist
and started moving away. Clara looked over
her shoulder and said – “make yourself
comfortable” then followed the fool. (why I
dey insult this boy sef, fool just dey slip
comot my finger)
Almost as if on cue the DJ changed the
already blasting Olamide’s Lagos boys to
Harrysong’s Play the ragge play the blues
song. I rolled my eye. Perfect, I thought, very
perfect. The gods just won mock me today.
I looked around. Nobody was paying me any
attention, some were smoking weed. plus
almost all of them had a girl on their arm,
and the normal smooching thing sef don
start for some corner while some others
were dancing.
See my life na. I come single, wear off
colour join. Isoriat.
I walked to the alcohol dispenser in the
dining area and had the dude pour me booze
in a red plastic cup I got at the dining table.
I brought the cup close to my mouth and
Indian hemp come smell me. Like, it wasn’t
as if it was surprising or anything because
like 5 guys dey smoke the thing for the
room. But somehow somehow kwa, it was as
if the smell was coming from the drink.
I sniffed. It was definitely coming from the
booze o. E be like these boys filter weed
water take pour inside this thing. Only God
knows what else they added. This ajebo
children can do crazy things, they fit go even
mix Cocaine join.
I looked around. Razz party. Whatever, I go
need high mehn. I drank the booze. Nodding
to Harrysong’s song, I walked to an empty
seat in the crowded seating room and sank
into it.
The party was already super crazy gan.
Choi. See rocking and smooching
everywhere. I just watched. I saw Clara and
Jay dancing. Clara caught my eye and I
looked away like say I bin no dey watch
them. Msteeew. Nonsense people.
I continued scanning the room as I sipped
my drink. I saw like two booties I liked.
Mehn, some girls get hips no worry.
Jayhoover. I watched one guy and a girl slip
out to go upstairs. Without been told I knew
what was about to get down. When this
party start sef? wey everybody don comot
for gear already
Isoriat.
Just when the booze plus the weed water
inside the booze plus whatever thing again
wey these boys put was starting to take
hold of me, Clara Waka and come. She
pulled me up.
“Let’s Dance”.
“You want Jay to kill me abi?” I said. Pulling
back.
“Don’t be silly. Get up”.
“I can’t dance”. I told her. And no, minus
joke. I really can’t dance. I dance like a bad
dream.
“Just shake your body”. She told me.
Because I was starting to get high as F**K
(on just one cup, only God know what was
inside this drink) I just decided to break my
no dance rule. I stood up and allowed Clara
drag me to the middle of the room.
Like 20 people dey already gbedu and I saw
Jay dancing with another fine babe like that.
I and Clara started dancing. Mehn, it wasn’t
a small thing. Highness na b-----d.
Well, fast forward fast forward.
At a point I and Clara stopped dancing. I
noticed another babe who was free. I rush
am, pulled her up – just like that. Oh mehn,
i’m high. Like, seriously. God. What did they
put in the drink.
The babe I pulled up didn’t complain, she too
sef don high die.. We danced and while we
danced we talked. I made a few jokes and
she laughed. The connection is there, I
thought, in my head.
At a point, the devil whispered to me what
to whisper to the babe . Piam, I no even
think am. I just whispered it to her – just
like that.
“Here is hot”. I whispered.”lets get out of
here” . She nodded and started walking
away, I followed her. She led the way to the
staircase, I followed. Staggering a bit.
Just as I climbed the stairs I looked back
and saw Clara looking at us. I throway face.
Then I remembered I didn’t even know the
name of the babe I was following. Well, who
cares.
We got up and entered a corridor. The babe
pushed a door to the right and we balled into
a badly lit room. On the bed were the boy
and the girl who had slipped out of the party
downstairs earlier. They were stark Unclad
and just about to “you know na”.
I shouted something I can’t really remember
now. The babe I was with apologized at the
Unclad figures and we shut the door and
started laughing those kind of no reason
mumu laugh that you laugh when you are
high.
She fell on me, I held her. Slipped my palms
down her buttocks and gave it a squeeze.
She pulled my hands away and hit my chest
playfully.
For where. The alcohol in my system pushed
me on. I gently pushed her to the wall and
just as she was about to raise her hand to
push against my chest I caught it. Raised it
above her head and gently pinned it on the
wall.
Leaning in I slowly brushed my lips against
hers. Then looked at her. Her resistance
stopped . Piam, I moved in. I rubbed her
lower lip with my lip then slowly took it
in between my lips and kissed her gently.
I released her hands, slid my hand around
her waist and pulled her closer. She kissed
me back, raising up her hand she pulled my
head in. Kissing me deeper. I kissed her
neck. No reaction. I went back to her lips
and resumed where I stopped.
That was when Clara walked up to the
corridor and saw us and what she did next surprised
me
to be continued
EPISODE 6
.
.
.
This world is sha a very wicked place.
Here I was in an all white party putting on
some crazy Buttocks off colour nonsense
while the babe I had like a massive crush on
was introducing me to her nonsense
boyfriend.
What a wicked world. I pitied myself. But
Nawa for you o, I just smiled and do face like
it’s perfectly normal for a girl who had made
a pass on me some weeks ago to have a
boyfriend.
I shoke hands with the nonsense Jay of a
guy. But sha, the boy just fresh anyhow. All
this ajebo children. He just brought out the
kpako in me. Minus joke.
“Welcome to my party”. Jay said, looking me
up and down. “Even though you are a bit off”
Arrogant bascard, I thought, na even the fool
party sef. No shaking.
“I don’t like blending in”. I told him. Smiling
my you can go and die smile as I motioned
over what I was wearing.
The boy smiled, grabbed Clara by the waist
and started moving away. Clara looked over
her shoulder and said – “make yourself
comfortable” then followed the fool. (why I
dey insult this boy sef, fool just dey slip
comot my finger)
Almost as if on cue the DJ changed the
already blasting Olamide’s Lagos boys to
Harrysong’s Play the ragge play the blues
song. I rolled my eye. Perfect, I thought, very
perfect. The gods just won mock me today.
I looked around. Nobody was paying me any
attention, some were smoking weed. plus
almost all of them had a girl on their arm,
and the normal smooching thing sef don
start for some corner while some others
were dancing.
See my life na. I come single, wear off
colour join. Isoriat.
I walked to the alcohol dispenser in the
dining area and had the dude pour me booze
in a red plastic cup I got at the dining table.
I brought the cup close to my mouth and
Indian hemp come smell me. Like, it wasn’t
as if it was surprising or anything because
like 5 guys dey smoke the thing for the
room. But somehow somehow kwa, it was as
if the smell was coming from the drink.
I sniffed. It was definitely coming from the
booze o. E be like these boys filter weed
water take pour inside this thing. Only God
knows what else they added. This ajebo
children can do crazy things, they fit go even
mix Cocaine join.
I looked around. Razz party. Whatever, I go
need high mehn. I drank the booze. Nodding
to Harrysong’s song, I walked to an empty
seat in the crowded seating room and sank
into it.
The party was already super crazy gan.
Choi. See rocking and smooching
everywhere. I just watched. I saw Clara and
Jay dancing. Clara caught my eye and I
looked away like say I bin no dey watch
them. Msteeew. Nonsense people.
I continued scanning the room as I sipped
my drink. I saw like two booties I liked.
Mehn, some girls get hips no worry.
Jayhoover. I watched one guy and a girl slip
out to go upstairs. Without been told I knew
what was about to get down. When this
party start sef? wey everybody don comot
for gear already
Isoriat.
Just when the booze plus the weed water
inside the booze plus whatever thing again
wey these boys put was starting to take
hold of me, Clara Waka and come. She
pulled me up.
“Let’s Dance”.
“You want Jay to kill me abi?” I said. Pulling
back.
“Don’t be silly. Get up”.
“I can’t dance”. I told her. And no, minus
joke. I really can’t dance. I dance like a bad
dream.
“Just shake your body”. She told me.
Because I was starting to get high as F**K
(on just one cup, only God know what was
inside this drink) I just decided to break my
no dance rule. I stood up and allowed Clara
drag me to the middle of the room.
Like 20 people dey already gbedu and I saw
Jay dancing with another fine babe like that.
I and Clara started dancing. Mehn, it wasn’t
a small thing. Highness na b-----d.
Well, fast forward fast forward.
At a point I and Clara stopped dancing. I
noticed another babe who was free. I rush
am, pulled her up – just like that. Oh mehn,
i’m high. Like, seriously. God. What did they
put in the drink.
The babe I pulled up didn’t complain, she too
sef don high die.. We danced and while we
danced we talked. I made a few jokes and
she laughed. The connection is there, I
thought, in my head.
At a point, the devil whispered to me what
to whisper to the babe . Piam, I no even
think am. I just whispered it to her – just
like that.
“Here is hot”. I whispered.”lets get out of
here” . She nodded and started walking
away, I followed her. She led the way to the
staircase, I followed. Staggering a bit.
Just as I climbed the stairs I looked back
and saw Clara looking at us. I throway face.
Then I remembered I didn’t even know the
name of the babe I was following. Well, who
cares.
We got up and entered a corridor. The babe
pushed a door to the right and we balled into
a badly lit room. On the bed were the boy
and the girl who had slipped out of the party
downstairs earlier. They were stark Unclad
and just about to “you know na”.
I shouted something I can’t really remember
now. The babe I was with apologized at the
Unclad figures and we shut the door and
started laughing those kind of no reason
mumu laugh that you laugh when you are
high.
She fell on me, I held her. Slipped my palms
down her buttocks and gave it a squeeze.
She pulled my hands away and hit my chest
playfully.
For where. The alcohol in my system pushed
me on. I gently pushed her to the wall and
just as she was about to raise her hand to
push against my chest I caught it. Raised it
above her head and gently pinned it on the
wall.
Leaning in I slowly brushed my lips against
hers. Then looked at her. Her resistance
stopped . Piam, I moved in. I rubbed her
lower lip with my lip then slowly took it
in between my lips and kissed her gently.
I released her hands, slid my hand around
her waist and pulled her closer. She kissed
me back, raising up her hand she pulled my
head in. Kissing me deeper. I kissed her
neck. No reaction. I went back to her lips
and resumed where I stopped.
That was when Clara walked up to the
corridor and saw us and what she did next surprised
me
to be continued
