A Diary A Jumoke(a web series)

DIARY OF A JUMOKE #1

I dialed his number and it rang for the second time in a row; where the hell was Freddy and why was the mumu not picking my calls?

I had been standing on the highway for almost an hour. My Range Rover had broken down and I had no idea what had happened to the silly car. It had been working perfectly before.

Gosh!!!

My leg had started to hurt due to the fact that I had been pacing up and down in my 5 inches tall Zanotti heels.

Dialing Freddy's number again, I opened the car, got inside and wait for the idiot to pick up. I was so going to give him a piece of my mind. I just hope he was not busy banging any cheap kitten.

The call connected…

"Hello babe," he said in a shaky voice, like he had been running a marathon. I was actually right; the idiot must have been banging a chick while I was here suffering.

"What on earth is wrong with you?” I thundered.
"You abandoned me here with this second hand car"
"You refused to pick my calls"
"Are you mad already!?"

I was really boiling and when I’m angry I tend to over react.

He mouthed a quick reply barely audible to my ears and before I could say jack he ended the call with a "Babe I have to go. Send me your location and I'll come pick you up."

What the hell just happened?
Did that broke ass dude just ignored me?

I was still thinking of a way to get out of the mess I got into when my eyes fell on my nails.

What I saw fueled my anger.

One of my neatly manicured nails had fallen off! This cannot be happening! I spent two hours fixing those nails. I paid fifteen thousand naira for it. And in a bid to open the car's bonnet, when it broke down, one of my nails fell off. This is not happening.

I checked the time and it was past noon. I was really running late and I was sure Rukky would have my head if I don't get my ass down to Club 44 very soon. She was giving me an offer of a life time; I must not mess things up but again I was still stuck with this god forsaken car.

As if controlled by a higher power, I picked up my Gucci bag, my phones, dropped the car keys on one of the chairs, got out and banged the door after me. I won't let any car wreck my plans. The idiot would come and carry the yeye car himself. I was going to get someone to buy me a new one later.

Not minding the scorching sun, I elegantly stood like a queen beside the road, waiting for a "Mr Charming" who appreciates beauty to stop and pick me up.

Yes, I was beautiful! I knew it. I had everything a guy wanted in a lady - long legs, a contoured face, a banging booty... What else could a guy ask for?

I had everything I wanted at my beck and call. Money was not a problem; I changed cars like clothes. I fly in and out of the country whenever I wanted. I don't really have a fixed income or job. I had been "self-employed" ever since I graduated from the university two years ago.

As the saying goes, I was using what I have to get what I want. I am a proud sugar baby. People talk but f*ck that poo! Money must be made and I have the perfect tools to use - my body actually. My area sister Rukky, will be connecting me with some real sugar daddies later in the day and I was not going to mess it up for anything.

Just when I thought my legs were finally going to crack, a Land Rover parked in front of me and I did a super Shoki inside me.

He rolled down his window.

"Can I help you sweetheart?" he asked in a baritone voice.

I did a quick survey of his face; dude looked cute and rich.

He looked like a potential "investor".

"Yes please, I need a lift." I answered flashing him a Rihannah inspired smile.

*mumu - A Nigerian slang used to describe a person who acts daft.
*kitten - Jamaican slang for vagina.
*yeye – useless
*Shoki – a type of West African dance                           

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